Parenting

Frequently Asked Questions about deciding parenting arrangements after separation.

  • Key issues

    Key issues

    • Are you safe?
    • Are your children safe?
    • Are the Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ) involved?
    • Do you have a parenting agreement for your children?
    • Have you tried mediation?
    • Are you in court?
    • Do you have parenting orders for your children?
    • Are you following your parenting orders?
    • Have your children been taken by the other party and not retu​rned?
    • Does the other party want to take your children overseas?
    • Does the other party want to relocate with your children?

As the father, do​​​​ I have any say in whether or not the pregnancy is terminated?

You do not have a legal right to make​​ decisions about whether a pregnancy is terminated. You can't force the mother to have a termination or stop the mother from having a termination, if that is her choice.     ​

Can the Court ​make parenting orders for an unborn child?

Parenting orders can ​​only be made after a child is born.

Can I get an order for a parentage ​​test for an unborn child?

All parenting orders, including an​ order for parentage testing, can only be made after a child is born. Parentage testing is also known as DNA testing.

Can I insist ​​on being at the birth of a child?

It is up to the pregnant woman to decide who she wants present at the birth.

If you want to be present at the birth, you can speak to her about your wishes. If she refuses, you have no legal right to be there.​

Can I attend medical ​appointments with the pregnant woman or have a copy of the ultrasound?

You don't have a legal right to attend medical appointments with the pregnant woman, or to get a copy of her ultrasound report, but you can ask her if she happy for you to attend appointments and have copies of reports.

If she refuses, you can't force her to include you in the appointments or to provide you with the ultrasound report.​​

Can the other parent ​stop me from relocating while I'm pregnant?

The other parent can't apply for parenting orders until after your child is born. This means they can't apply for an order to stop you from moving prior to the birth, but can apply for an order once your child is born. This may include orders for your child to live in a particular place or to spend time with the other parent. 

 Before deciding to move, you should get legal advice about how the child will maintain a meaningful relationship with the other parent if you move far away.

How can I register my baby's birth?

Parents must register their baby within 60 days of their birth. The hospital does not do this for you.

You can do this:

  • online, or
  • in writing, by completing a Birth Registration Statement.

You will need to provide a copy of a notification provided by the hospital, a doctor or registered Midwife or by independent witnesses who saw the birth occur.

You can’t register your baby’s birth online if you gave birth at home without a doctor or midwife present, and you didn’t go to the hospital or seek medical attention within 24 hours after the birth.

You can lodge your completed form:

  • via a drop box at your nearest NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages
  • in person at your nearest Service NSW service centre
  • by post.

To lodge your form by post, it should be addressed to:

Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages
GPO Box 30
SYDNEY NSW 2001

Counter services at NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages are no longer available.

You don’t need to pay a fee to register your baby’s birth. However, if you want a birth certificate, you may have to pay a fee unless you are granted a fee wavier.

For more information, see Register a birth on the Service NSW website.

What can I do if the father of my child refuses to sign the birth registration statement?

If your child's father will not sign the birth registration statement to register the birth you should still lodge your application within 60 days.

If he is not listed as the father, you should get legal advice about the implications of this for child support entitlements.

If you want to have the father added to the birth certificate, you should get legal advice about applying for parenting orders, which may include an order for parentage testing to be carried out.

You should get legal advice about your situation. 

What if I am ​​the father of the child but another person is listed as the father on the birth certificate?

Both biological parents of the child must apply together to change their child's birth certificate. 

If you can't reach an agreement, you can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for a parenting order to have your name included as a father on the birth certificate. You may also need to apply for an order for parentage testing.

 You should get legal advice in this situation.     ​

Can I ​remove the father's name from my child's birth certificate because he hasn't been involved with the child?​

A birth certificate is a factual record of your child's birth. You can't remove the father's name because he does not spend time with the child or does not pay child support. The only time a father's name may be removed from a birth certificate is when:

  • the child is adopted
  • there is a Court order to remove the father's name, or
  • if there is evidence, such as a parentage test, proving he was incorrectly registered as the father.     

​Can adopted parents and birth parents both be listed on a birth certificate?

Yes. Everyone adopted after 16 November 2020 will receive:

  • a post-adoptive birth certificate, and
  • an Integrated Birth Certificate (IBC).

A post-adoption birth certificate lists the details of adoptive parents and any other siblings, but it does not include any information that indicates a person has been adopted or details of birth parents and siblings.

An IBC is a new type of birth certificate that allows adopted people to have both their adopted and birth parents listed on their birth certificate.

If you were adopted before 16 November 2020, you can apply for an IBC from the NSW registry of Births, Deaths & Marriages.

This means you can get a birth certificate that lists your birth parents and siblings, as well as adopted parents and siblings.

For more information, see Certificates and searches for an adoption on the NSW Government website.

What can I do if the other parent has changed our child’s name without my knowledge and consent?

You can change your child’s name on their birth certificate if:

  • both parents agree
  • one parent has a court order specifically approving the new name for the child
  • there is only one parent named on the birth certificate
  • the other parent is deceased.

If the other parent has changed your child’s name without your knowledge and consent, and they don’t have a court order, you can apply for an internal review within 28 days.

If you are unhappy with the outcome of the review, you can apply to NCAT for a further review. You can also make a complaint to the NSW Ombudsman.

Before you apply to NCAT, you should get legal advice.

How can I apply for a review a decision of the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages?

If you are unhappy with a decision made by the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages, you can apply for an internal review of the NSW Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages (BDM) within 28 days of the decision, or longer with the permission of BDM.

To do this, you must apply in writing and attach any support documents to your application.

You can file your appeal by:

To send your request by post, you must address it to:

Registrar
NSW Births Deaths and Marriages
GPO Box 30
SYDNEY NSW 2001

You should make a copy of your application before you post it.

You will be notified within 21 days of the outcome of the internal review, including the reasons for the decisions.

For more information, see Internal Review of Registry Decisions policy on the NSW Government website.

Who is a parent?

Under the law, there is no set definition of who is a parent. 

A parent may include:

  • a biological mother (unless she is a surrogate mother)
  • a biological father 
  • a de facto partner
  • adoptive parents
  • the same sex partner of a mother where the child was conceived by artificial conception and the partner agreed to the conception.

There are some situations where a person is considered to be a parent, for example, because they were married or living with the mother at the time of conception. 

In some circumstances a biological parent may not be a legal parent of a child, for example, sperm or egg donors. 

This can be a complex issue. If this situation applies to you, you should get legal advice.

What rights do I h​ave as a parent?

Under the law, parents do not have rights. Rather you have parental responsibility for your child. Parental responsibility means you are responsible for major, long-term decisions, such as:

  • where your child lives
  • where your child goes to school
  • what medical treatment your child receives.

You and the other parent share this responsibility but can exercise it jointly or individually.

Parental responsibility does not cover the day-to-day decisions about the care of your child, such as what your child wears and eats. The parent who is caring for your child is responsible for making these decisions.

If it is safe to do so, you should try to talk to each other and make joint decisions about your child. If you have Court orders about parental responsibility, you must follow the orders while they are in force.

What rights does my child ​have?

A child has the right to:

  • know and be cared for by both parents
  • spend time and communicate on a regular basis with both parents and other people significant to their care, for example, grandparents, aunts and uncles
  • be protected from abuse, harm and violence.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children have the right to enjoy their culture, by having the support, opportunity, and encouragement necessary to:

  • connect with, and maintain their connection with, their family, community, culture, country, and language, and
  • explore the full extent of that culture, consistent with the child’s age, views, and development, and 
  • develop a positive appreciation of their culture.

At what age can I leave my child at home alone?

There is no set age at which your child can be left at home alone. You need to decide based on your own family circumstances, and the age and maturity of your child.

You have a legal obligation and responsibility to make sure your child is safe and being properly looked after.

For more information, see Leaving children at home alone on the Department of Communities and Justice website.

Does a step-parent ha​ve legal responsibility for a child?

A step-parent, whether married or not, does not automatically have parental responsibility for a child of their partner.

A step-parent is able to apply for parenting orders, including an order giving them parental responsibility for a child, as a person interested in the care, welfare and development of the child.

If a step-parent adopts a step-child, they will be given all the rights and responsibilities of a parent, including parental responsibility for the child. This is a permanent change. It doesn’t end when the child turns 18 years old.

If you want to apply for parental responsibility, you should get legal advice.

How do we work out who our child lives with after separation?

You and the other parent are responsible for deciding the parenting arrangements for your child, including where your child lives and how much time your child spends with each of you. 

If it is safe, you should try and reach an agreement about your parenting arrangements between yourselves.

If you need help reaching an agreement, you should try Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). In most cases, you must try FDR before applying to the court for parenting orders, unless you are exempt.

If you reach an agreement after FDR, you can:

  • make an informal agreement, such as a verbal agreement
  • make a parenting plan
  • apply for consent orders.

The FDR practitioner can help you write out your parenting plan.

Before applying for consent orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Parenting on the My problem is about section of our website.

Do we have to get court ​orders if we agree about arrangements for the child?

If you have reached an agreement with the other parent of your child, it's up to you whether you:

  • make an informal agreement, such as a verbal agreement
  • make a parenting plan, or
  • apply to the Court for consent orders.

You should consider what works for you. You may:

  • prefer the flexibility of an informal agreement
  • want something in writing so there is no misunderstanding about what was agreed
  • want an enforceable order, in case the other parent does not stick to the agreement.

You don’t have to go to court if you don’t want to.

If you are not sure what type of agreement to make, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Parenting on the My problem is about section of our website.

What are consent orders?

Consent orders are a parenting agreement that is approved by a court.

If you and the other parent have reached an agreement about parenting arrangements and want your agreement to be binding, you can apply for consent orders.

The Court has to be satisfied that the agreement is in the best interests of your child before it can make consent orders.

For more information, see Children: We have agreed on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.  

What if we ca​n​'t agree about th​​e arrangements for our child? ​

If it is safe to do so, the law encourages both parents to make a genuine attempt to reach an agreement about parenting arrangements and resolve any parenting disputes. If you and the other parent can't agree on a parenting matter, you can get help by going to Family Dispute Resolution (FDR).

You must try FDR before you can apply for parenting orders, unless an exce​ption applies.

If you have tried FDR already and still can't reach an agreement, you should get legal advice about your options.

For more information, see Children: We cannot agree on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website. 

Do I hav​e to let the other parent see our child?

You have a legal obligation to encourage your child to have a meaningful relationship with the other parent, unless a court has ordered otherwise.

If you don't have any parenting orders, you and the other parent have parental responsibility for your child.

If it safe to do so, you are expected to consult and try to agree on parenting matters.

If you are unable to agree or communication is difficult, you can contact your nearest Family Relationship Centre to arrange Family Dispute Resolution (FDR).

If you refuse their request to see your child, and no agreement is reached at FDR, the other parent may apply to the Court for parenting orders.

If you already have parenting orders, you must comply with any court order that allows the other parent to spend time with your child. If you breach a parenting order without a reasonable excuse, you can be penalised by the Court.

If you can't reach an agreement or have concerns about the safety of your child with the other parent, you should get legal advice about your situation.

My child has been spending time with me. Do I have to return them to the​ other parent?

Courts don't approve of parents taking unilateral action, such as not returning your child to the parent they have been living with. If you want to change your parenting arrangements, you are expected to go through the proper process of attempting Family Dispute Resolution or applying to the Court for parenting orders.

If you don't return your child, the other parent can make an urgent application to the Court for a Recovery Order. If the Court makes a Recovery order, this will authorise the Australian Federal Police to come and take your child back to the other parent.

If there is a parenting order that says your child lives with the other parent, you will be breaching this order by not returning your child. If you breach a parenting order without a reasonable excuse, the Court has the power to punish you.

If you have concerns about the safety of your child with the other parent, and/or you do not want to return your child, you should get legal advice as soon as possible. 

Does the​ other par​​ent have to give me their home address?

There is no legal obligation for the other parent to give you their home address unless a court order tells them to. 

If you can't find the other parent and you want to apply for parenting orders, or if you have concerns about the safety and wellbeing of a child, you should get legal advice about your situation.  

Does the ​o​ther parent have to tell me what they are doing with our child?

If it is safe, you are are expected to consult with the other parent and make a genuine attempt to agree on major issues such as education, religion and major medical matters. However, this does not include day-to-day issues like what you child wears or eats.

Each parent is responsible for the day-to-day care of your child, when your child is with them. The other parent doesn’t have to tell you what they are doing, unless a parenting order specifically states otherwise. 

If you are concerned about what the other parent is doing with your child, you should get legal advice.

Can I pick up my child​ from school?

Either parent may pick up your child during school hours or at the end of the school day, unless a court order restricts you from doing so.

The school may not allow your child to be removed if:

  • it is aware of any court orders, including parenting orders or Apprehended Violence Order, concerning your child
  • it has concerns for your child's safety, or any other concerns
  • your child objects to seeing the parent.​​

What is an Informal Relative Caregiver's Statutory Declaration?

The NSW Statutory Declaration for Informal Relative Caregivers is a document that provides proof that a relative is caring for a child where there are no court orders. It does not give the relative parental responsibility and only lasts for six months, although it can be renewed.

The Declaration will generally be accepted by schools to allow the relative to sign absentee notes or give permission for excursions. It does not allow the relative to give consent for medical treatment.

Who will care​​ for my child when I die?

In your Will, you can name the person who you want your child to live with after you die. This is called appointing a testamentary guardian. This appointment is not legally binding and does not give the testamentary guardian parental responsibility for your child.

Only parents have parental responsibility for the care, welfare and development of their child. This responsibility can only be changed, given or taken away with a parenting order from the Court. After you die, the surviving parent will have parental responsibility unless this is changed by a parenting order.

After you die, if there is a dispute about who will have responsibility for your child, the surviving parent, testamentary guardian, or another person interested in the care, welfare and development of your child may apply to the court for parenting orders.

If you are concerned about who will care for your child after you die, you should get legal advice.​

What is a parenting plan?

A parenting plan is a  written parenting agreement signed and dated by both parents. It is made without going to court and does not get filed in court. A parenting plan must deal with at least one of these issues:

  • who has parental responsibility for your child
  • who your child lives with or spends time with
  • how you share parental responsibility
  • the communication your child has with the other parent and family members
  • how you communicate over parenting matters, for example, by phone, email or text
  • financial support for your child
  • the process for resolving parenting disputes
  • the process for changing the parenting plan
  • any aspect of the care, welfare, or development of your child.

It is not enforceable like a court order, but the Court is to have regard to any previous parenting plan in later court proceedings. 

For more information, see Parenting agreements on the My problem is about section of our website.

What is the difference between a parenting plan and parenting orders?

A parenting plan is a written agreement between you and the other parent. It is not legally binding. That is, it is not enforceable and you can't be punished if you don't follow the terms of your parenting plan.

Parenting orders are court orders. They are enforceable and if you don't follow the orders, you may be punished for contravening (breaching) them without a reasonable excuse.​

Should I get a parenting plan or ​parenting orders?

It depends on your circumstances whether a parenting plan or a Parenting Order is the best option.

 You should get legal advice about your situation.     

The other parent and I have agreed to a parenting plan. Do we need to attempt Family Dispute Resolution?

If you and the other parent have reached an agreement, you can make a parenting plan without attending Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). 

If you both want your parenting agreement to be legally enforceable, you can apply to the Local Court of NSW or the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for consent orders, instead of making a parenting plan. You don’t have to go to FDR if you are applying for consent orders.

Before you apply for consent orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Parenting on the My problem is about section of our website.

What if I make changes to a parenting plan?

A parenting plan can be changed at any time by a further written agreement. Although you and the other parent can verbally agree to change a parenting plan, it is usually better to have something in writing so there is no misunderstanding about what was agreed.

If you and the other parent can't reach an agreement about changes, you can get help by attending Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). You must attend FDR before you can apply for parenting orders, unless an exception applies. 

 You should get legal advice about your situation.

​What are pre-action procedures?

Parents are required to make a genuine effort to try to settle disputes about the care of their children before applying for parenting orders. The steps that parents must take to try and settle a dispute are called pre-action procedures. They include:

  • attempting a type of mediation called Family Dispute Resolution, and
  • sending a Notice of intention to the other parent to identify the issues still in dispute, make a genuine attempt at resolving the dispute, and state the orders that will be sought in an application for parenting orders.

For more information, see the brochure Before you file - p​re-action procedure for parenting cases​ on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.     

What is Family Dispute Resolution?

Mediation in family law matters is called Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). FDR is a process to help parents reach agreement on any parenting matter, for example, who the child lives with or who they spend time with.

For more information, see the fact sheet Compulsory pre-filing Family Dispute Resolution – court procedures and requirements on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Do ​​I have to go to Family Dispute Resolution?

Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is compulsory, meaning you and the other parent both have a legal obligation to try it before applying for parenting orders, unless you fall within one of the exceptions. You can't apply to court for parenting orders until you have made a genuine effort to reach agreement about the issues in dispute. If you don’t go to FDR, you may face serious consequences, including a costs order being made against you.

For more information, see the brochure Before you file – pre-action procedure for parenting cases on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What ​​are the exceptio​ns to attending Family Dispute Resolution?

You are not required to attend FDR:

  • if you and the other parent are applying for consent orders
  • if you are applying for an interlocutory order in a case that has already started
  • if the matter is urgent, for example, a child has not been returned and there are safety concerns
  • if the Court has reasonable grounds to believe that family violence or child abuse has occurred, or there is a risk of violence or child abuse if there were to be a delay
  • where you are unable to participate effectively, for example, if it is too far to a dispute resolution provider or you are physically unable to attend
  • where there has been a serious breach of a court order.

Before applying for parenting orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see the brochure Before you file – pre-action procedure for parenting cases on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What is an ac​​credited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner?

An accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) is a person accredited by the Commonwealth Attorney General's Department. They are similar to a mediator, as they are a neutral person that can help parties to resolve a dispute.

To find an accredited family dispute resolution practitioner, see the Family Dispute Resolution Register on the Family Relationships Online website.

All FDRPs are required to be registered and must meet strict accreditation standards.

If you can't resolve your dispute at Family Dispute Resolution (FDR), your registered FDRP can issue a certificate called a s60I certificate. This allows you to apply to court for parenting orders.

Why should​ I use an accre​dited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner?

If you are unable to resolve your dispute through Family Dispute Resolution and decide to go to Court, you will need a s60I certificate to say you have attempted to resolve the matter through FDR.

You can only get a valid certificate from an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner.

How do I find an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner?

You can find an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner by:

Can I go to a Communit​y Justice Centre for Family Dispute Resolution?

Community Justice Centres (CJC) can help with mediation in parenting disputes and, in limited circumstances, can issue a s60I certificate if your dispute isn't resolved. 

If you decide to try mediation through a Community Justice Centre for a parenting matter, you should check whether the mediator is an accredited Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP). If they are not an accredited FDRP, they will not be able to issue a s60I certificate. You should contact your local Family Relationship Centre or Legal Aid NSW for mediation instead.

What ha​ppens in Family Dispute Resolution?

Before Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) is arranged, the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) will undertake an assessment to see if FDR is suitable for your situation. In some situations it may not be appropriate for you to participate in FDR, for example where there is family violence.

If the FDRP decides that your matter is not suitable for FDR they will issue you with a certificate (called a s60I certificate). You need this certificate if you want to apply for parenting orders.

If the FDRP decides that FDR is appropriate in your circumstances, they will arrange a date and time for the mediation to be held.

In FDR, a FDRP will help you and the other parent talk about parenting issues. It's an opportunity to talk about options and to negotiate parenting arrangements for your child.

There are different options for FDR. In most cases, you and the other party are in the same room with the FDRP. In other situations, a shuttle process may be held. This is where you and the other party are in different rooms. You can talk to the FDRP about what will be most suitable for you.

For more information, see Family Dispute Resolution on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What are the advantages of Family Dispute Resolution?

The advantages of Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) are:

  • it generally doesn't cost much and you can ask how much the fees will be upfront
  • you can talk about all of the issues in a neutral environment
  • you can consider practical options for your situation
  • the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) will help you and the other parent to work together to find a solution
  • if you reach an agreement, the FDRP will help you put the agreement in writing
  • it may resolve a dispute without the need for expensive and lengthy court action.

Can the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner give me legal advice?

The Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner's role is to help you and the other parent with the process of Family Dispute Resolution. They are independent and are not allowed to give you or the other parent legal advice.

Should I ge​t legal advice before going to Family Dispute Resolution?

It is always a good idea to get legal advice on what your options are before starting Family Dispute Resolution. The Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner will usually suggest you do this.

You should also get legal advice before making any final agreement, for example, before signing a parenting plan or applying for consent orders.

Are things said at Family Dispute Resolution confidential?

Everything you say in front of a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) is confidential, except in limited circumstances. The FDRP can disclose information obtained during Family Dispute Resolution to:

  • prevent a serious threat to someone's life or health
  • prevent the commission of a crime
  • report child abuse - see the Care and protection topic for more information about mandatory reporting
  • the Independent Children's Lawyer, if it assists them to perform their role.

Can information given at Family Dispute Resolution be used in court?

Generally, what is said during Family Dispute Resolution can't be used as evidence in any court proceedings except in limited circumstances.

Information can be used in court where:

  • there is evidence that a child has been abused, or is at risk of abuse, and
  • there is not sufficient evidence about the abuse, or risk of abuse, from other sources already before the court.

If you have concerns about this, you should get legal advice.

What if I am feeling unsafe about trying Family Dispute Resolution?

If you have concerns about your safety or the safety of your children, you should let the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) know as soon as possible. If you have experienced abuse or violence from the other parent, it's important that you feel and are safe before, during and after Family Dispute Resolution (FDR).

In some cases, it may not be appropriate to go ahead with FDR. The FDRP can discuss options with you and will generally undertake an assessment of your situation before agreeing to provide FDR to make sure will you be safe.

What if the Family Dispute Resolution Practition​​er believes Family Dispute Resolution is not appropriate in my circumstances?

Even if you want Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) to go ahead, the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) has a legal obligation to assess whether it is appropriate in your circumstances. They have to consider your safety, whether both parties are free to negotiate and any potential allegations of child abuse.

If the FDRP decides that FDR is not appropriate they will issue you with a certificate (called a s60I certificate). You will need this certificate if you want to apply to the Court for parenting orders.

For more information, see Mediation on the My problem is about section of our website.

What if we reach an agreement at Family Dispute Resolution?

If you reach an agreement at Family Dispute Resolution about parenting arrangements for your child, the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner will discuss the option of putting your agreement into a parenting plan.

If you want your agreement to be legally binding you will need to apply to the Court for consent orders.

Before you sign a parenting plan or consent orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Parenting on the My problem is about section of our website.

What if no agreement is reache​d after Family Dispute Resolution?

If you try Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) but can't reach an agreement with the other parent, you will be given a s60I certificate. The certificate will say why the FDR has failed or why FDR was not appropriate in your circumstances. You will need to have this certificate before you can apply to a court for parenting orders.

Before you start court action, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Parenting on the My problem is about section of our website.

What if I don't atten​d Family Dispute Resolution or make a genuine effort?

If you have not co-operated in the Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) process, the Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner (FDRP) may issue a certificate (called a s60I certificate) stating you did not attend FDR or did not make a genuine effort.

If you or the other parent decide to apply to a court for parenting orders, the Court may send you back to FDR again to try again to resolve the issues in dispute. The Court may also consider making a costs order against you.

When does the Family Dispute Resolution certificate expire?

The Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) certificate (called s60I certificate) is only valid for 12 months.

If you have a s60I certificate, you must use it within 12 months to apply for parenting orders or you may need to try FDR again, unless you are exempt.

Before you apply for parenting orders, you should get legal advice about your situation.

What will Family Dispute Resolution cost?

Each provider has their own fees.

If you attend Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) with a Family Relationship Centre (FRC) they will still charge a fee in some circumstances, even though they are government funded. You should ask the FRC if there will be any fees for your FDR.

Can I get a legal aid grant for Family Dispute Resolution?

You can apply for a legal aid grant for a Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) run by Legal Aid. This is a different FDR process from that provided by a Family Relationship Centre (FRC). If you receive a grant of aid, you will be represented by a lawyer who can assist you in negotiating an agreement, including a parenting plan.

For more information, see Family Dispute Resolution Service on the My problem is about section of our website.

To be eligible for a legal aid grant, you must meet Legal Aid's means and merit tests and come within their policy guidelines.

For more information, see Means test indicator on the Legal Aid NSW website.

Do I need a​ lawyer for Family Dispute Resolution?

Generally, lawyers are not involved in the Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) process, although they may be involved in some circumstances.

It is a good idea to get legal advice before FDR as this may help you to understand the options in your situation.

When is Family Dispute Resolution not appropriate?

Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) may not be appropriate if:

  • there has been family violence
  • there is an Apprehended Violence Order (AVO) in place
  • a child is at risk of harm
  • the matter is urgent.

The Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner can decide that FDR is not appropriate, even if you want to go to FDR.

For more information, see Mediation on the My problem is about section of our website.

Who can apply for parenting orders?

An application for parenting orders can be made by:

  • a parent
  • a grandparent
  • any other person concerned with the care, welfare or development of the child, for example aunts, uncles, and the de facto partner of a parent.

What types ​of parenting orders can a court make?

​The Court can make parenting orders about:

  • ​parental responsibility
  • who a child will live with
  • who a child will spend time with, for example, the other parent or grandparents
  • who a child is to communicate with and how, for example, by telephone, e-mail or Skype
  • any other aspect of the child's care, welfare and development, for example, the changeover location or who is responsible for the costs of travel.

Which courts can make parenting orders?

You can apply for parenting orders in the Local Court of NSW or Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.

Most matters are dealt with in Division two of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.

If you are unsure about where to file your application, you should get legal advice.

Can the Local Court of NSW make parenting orders?

The Local Court of NSW has the power to make parenting orders, but they will generally only deal with very simple matters or matters where you and the other party have reached an agreement.

How do ​I apply for parenting orders?

If you can't reach an agreement, you can apply for parenting orders in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.

Before you file an application for parenting orders you must comply with the pre-action procedures, including attending Family Dispute Resolution, unless you are exempt.

To apply for parenting orders, you will need to file:

  • an Initiating Application
  • a Notice of child abuse, family violence or risk
  • a Genuine steps certificate
  • a Parenting questionnaire
  • a section 60I certificate or an Affidavit of non-filing of Family Dispute Resolution certificate.

If you are asking the Court to make interlocutory orders, you must file:

  • an Initiating Application
  • an affidavit
  • a Notice of child abuse, family violence or risk
  • a Genuine steps certificate
  • a section 60I certificate or an Affidavit of non-filing of Family Dispute Resolution certificate.

The Court will take into consideration the best interests of your child when making parenting orders.

For copies of the forms and more information on applying for parenting orders, see Children: We cannot agree on the Federal Circu​it and Family Court of Australia website.

What is a Notice of child abuse, family violence or risk form?

The Notice of child abuse, family violence or risk is a mandatory form that must be completed by any person who:

  • files an Initiating Application or Response seeking parenting orders
  • makes allegations of child abuse or family violence after parenting proceedings have begun.

The form will assist the Court to identify a wide range of risks to a child in parenting proceedings. It can also enable timely notification to the relevant child protection authorities. 

Will I have to pay a fee?

You have to pay a filing fee to start court proceedings, unless you are exempt. You may be eligible for an exemption from fees if you are:

  • granted legal aid
  • the primary cardholder of a health care card, a pensioner concession, or a Commonwealth seniors health card
  • an inmate
  • under 18 years of age
  • receiving youth allowance, Austudy or ABSTUDY benefits, or
  • in financial hardship.

If you are not eligible for a fee exemption, you may be eligible for a fee reduction or deferral.

If you are eligible for a fee exemption or reduction and you have already paid a full fee, you may be able to get a refund.

For more information about fees, see Guidelines for exemption of court fees on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What are int​erlocutory​ order​​s?

Interlocutory orders are temporary orders the Court may make before a final decision is made about arrangements for your child. Interlocutory orders can be made reasonably quickly, sometimes on the first or second court date.

You may want to apply for interlocutory orders if:

  • the other parent has moved away with your child
  • the other parent is not letting you see your child
  • the other parent has not returned your child
  • you think your child is at risk of harm.

They are very common as it may take many months before final orders are made.

Before you apply for interlocutory orders, you should get legal advice.

What do I do if I have been served with an application for parenting orders?

If you have been served with an Initiating Application for parenting orders, y​​ou should get legal advice about how to respond and what documents you need to file in response.

There are rules about when documents must be filed.

Before you respond, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Children: I have been served on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What happens after I file my ap​plication​ for parenting orders?

You are responsible for serving the other party, and the Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) if one has been appointed, with a copy of your Initiating Application and required documents as soon as practicable after filing. There are rules about when documents must be filed.

For more information, see the Service Kit (do it yourself kit) on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

​For further information, you should speak to court staff by calling the Enquiries Hub for procedural information.

After you have filed, you will be sent information about what will happen next, including your first court date.

For more information, see the fact sheet Going to Court - tips for your Court hearing on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.​

Can I have ​​the matter transferred to ano​ther court?

In some situations, you can apply for your matter to be transferred to another court, for example, to a court closer to you. In most cases, a transfer will be granted if the children are living with you. 

If you want to apply for a transfer of your matter, you should get legal advice 

What is a​​ family rep​​ort?

A family report is a report prepared at the request of the Court to provide the Court with an independent assessment of the matter. It is prepared by either a Family Consultant or Court appointed Expert – a psychologist, psychiatrist, or social worker with specialist knowledge in child and family issues after separation and divorce.

The Family Consultant or Court appointed Expert will write the report after they have interviewed the parents, other relevant people and the child and observed the child interacting with the parents.

The Court does not have to follow the recommendations contained in the Family Report.

The Family Consultant can also be called by either party to give evidence about the report at the final hearing.​

For more information, see the fact sheet Family Reports FAQs on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What is an Independent Children's Lawyer?

An Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) is a lawyer ​​appointed by the Court to promote the best interests of the child and to let the Court know what the views of the child are.​

For more information on what an ICL does, see:

Is an Independent Children's Lawyer always appointe​d?

An Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL) will only be appointed if the Court thinks it is necessary. You can ask for an ICL to be appointed but it is up to the Court to decide if an ICL is needed in your case. You will usually be expected to contribute to the cost of the ICL if one is appointed.​

What will the Court consider when hearing a parenting matter?

All decisions by the Court about a child are made based on what is in their best interests.

There are six factors the Court will consider when deciding that arrangements are in the best interests of a child:

  • the safety of the child and people who care for the child (including any history of family violence and family violence orders)
  • the child’s views
  • the developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs of the child
  • the capacity of each person who will be responsible for the child to provide for the child’s developmental, psychological, emotional and cultural needs
  • the benefit to the child of having a relationship with their parents, and other people who are significant to them (e.g. grandparents and siblings), and
  • anything else that is relevant to the particular circumstances of the child.

For more information on how the Court will decide the child's best interests, see Children: Overview on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

How does the Court decide where our child should live?

All decisions made by the Court are based on what is in the best interests of the child.

Can a child make their own decisio​​n about where they want to live?

A child is never given the responsibility of deciding where they should live, however, the Court is required to consider a child's views. The weight given to a child's views depends on their age and maturity. A child's views about where they want to live are usually presented to the Court in the family report or by the Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL).

There is no specific age at which a child's views will be followed because there are other factors that are considered by the Court in determining what is in a child's best interests.

At what age are a​ child's views considered by the Court?

There is no specific age at which a child's views will be taken into account by the Court. The weight giv​​en to a child's views depends on their age and maturity. There is no requirement that the Court must make a decision based solely on the child’s age or wishes. In determining what is in the child's best interests, many factors are considered, including a child's wishes​.

For more information on how the Court will decide the child's best interests, see Children: Overview on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

​​​Will our child have to give evidence during proceedings?

Children are not called to give evidence in family law proceedings. Their views, or any other relevant evidence, is given to the Court either in the family report or by the Independent Children's Lawyer (ICL).

How long do parenting orders last?

Parenting orders end when:

  • new parenting orders are made
  • a parenting plan is made changing parenting orders
  • ​the child turns 18 years of age
  • the child is adopted
  • the child marries, or
  • the child enters into a de facto relationship.

Who makes the decisions about the education of a child?

This will depend on whether there are parenting orders in place, and what type of orders were made.

If there are no orders in place, you and the other parent are expected to consult and try to reach an agreement about educational issues. You both have parental responsibility to make educational decisions.

If there are parenting orders in place, you should read your orders carefully as the orders will state whether there is joint parental responsibility for certain decisions (like education) or whether one parent has been given the sole responsibility of making those types of decisions.

 If you are not able to agree about issues related to your child's education, you should get legal advice.

How does the Court ​decide how much time a child spends with a parent?

The amount of time a child spends with a parent depends on the circumstances of each family and what is in the best interests of the child.

Can I force the other parent to spend time with our child?

You can't force a parent to spend time with their child.

If you have parenting orders in place and the other parent is refusing to spend time with your child when they are supposed to, you should get legal advice.​

Can the Court stop​ a parent from seeing their child?

The Court's decision about how a child spends time with a parent will always be based on the child's best interests. In some exceptional circumstances, the Court can make an order that a parent is not allowed to spend any time at all with a child. ​

Can the Court make an order that a parent must be supervised during their time with a child?

The Court can make an order that a parent must be supervised when they spend time with a child if the Court believes that a parent does not have appropriate parenting skills or that there is some risk to the child's safety. If an order like this is made, the Court will decide who is responsible for the supervision. It could include supervision by another family member or at a Children's Service.

How will the Court consider allegations ​of abuse in a parenting matter?

If there is an allegation that a parent has abused a child, the Court will determine whether that parent poses an unacceptable risk to the child. The Court will not decide whether a parent is guilty or not guilty of any abuse.

The Court must take prompt action in relation to allegations of child abuse and consider:

  • whether any interlocutory or procedural order should be made to protect the child or any person who cares for the child, and
  • obtain evidence about the allegations as quickly as possible. This may include making orders to obtain documents or information from state or territory agencies in relation to the allegations.

The Court will consider whether your case should be placed in the Magellan program. This is a program for cases involving serious allegations of sexual and/or physical abuse of children and aims to deal with these matters as quickly as possible.

For more information on the Magellan program, see How the Court considers safety and risk on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Allegations of abuse can also be investigated by the Department of Communities and Justice (DCJ). In some circumstances DCJ can become involved in your family law proceedings (known as intervening) or they could start separate proceedings in the Children's Court of NSW.

If DCJ is involved in family law proceedings, you should get legal advice.

What if there has been family violence?

The Court recognises the close connection between family breakdown and violence, and the detrimental impact on both adult victims and children living with family violence.

When deciding what orders are in a child’s best interests, the Court must consider what arrangements would promote the safety of a child and the people who care for the child.

Protecting family members, and particularly children, from the effects of family violence is central to all determinations of what is in a child’s best interest.  

What should I do if I am concerned for my safety?

If you have immediate fears for your safety, regardless of whether you are attending court, you should contact the police.

If you are concerned about your safety while attending court, you should speak to:

  • your lawyer
  • court staff at least five working days before the hearing.

If you are self-represented, you should get legal advice as soon as possible.

The Court can put in place measures to ensure your safety at court.

For more information, see Safety at court on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website. 

Do I have to see the other parent at court if there has been family violence against me?

If you are going to court for a parenting matter you may see the other party.

If you are concerned about attending court at the same time, or being in the same room, you should tell the Court as soon as possible. Safety measures can be put in place so that you can attend court safely.

If there is any allegation of family violence, the Court must take that into account when deciding how proceedings will run.

For more information, see Safety at court on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website. 

Will the other parent cross-examine me if there has been family violence?

In parenting matters, parties cannot cross-examine one another where one party has alleged family violence by the other party and:

  • either party has been convicted of, or charged with, an offence involving violence or a threat of violence towards the other party
  • a current family violence order (other than an interlocutory order) applies to both parties
  • an injunction has been made for the personal protection of one party against the other party, or
  • the Court decides it is inappropriate.

The Court will then make orders that the parties must be cross-examined by a lawyer. This is often known as a section 102NA order, as it is made under section 102NA of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth).

A self-represented party can either:

  • ask a private lawyer to represent them, or
  • apply to Legal Aid for a Legal Aid lawyer to represent them.

If Legal Aid represents a party for the cross-examination, this does not mean that they will have ongoing representation.

If a party is ineligible for Legal Aid, they must get a private lawyer to represent them or they will not be allowed to cross-examine the other party.

For more information, see How the Court considers safety and risk on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

For information about the family violence cross examination scheme and to apply for funding for legal representation under the scheme, see Family violence allegations in family law proceedings – personal cross-examination ban.

What happens if family violence is alleged but the Court allows cross-examination? 

Where one party has alleged family violence by the other party, but the above criteria does not apply to stop cross-examination by the other party, the Court must make sure there are appropriate protections for the alleged victim.

This can include:

  • moving the venue to a safer location
  • allowing the alleged victim to give evidence by video or audio link
  • limiting or disallowing cross-examination of a particular witness
  • disallowing questions that are offensive, abusive, hectoring, misleading, confusing, or that have been asked in an inappropriate manner or tone
  • shielding the alleged abuser from the view of the victim
  • closing the courtroom to the public
  • excluding certain people from being in the courtroom
  • in child-related matters – receiving into evidence a transcript of court or tribunal proceedings. 

If you are worried about attending court because of family violence, you should get legal advice. 

How do I get a parentage test if ​​I think I'm not the father?

If you don't think you are the father of the child, you can ask the mother to agree to parentage testing. Parentage testing is also known as DNA testing.

If the mother agrees to parentage testing, you will need to use one of the laboratories accredited by the National Association of Testing Authorities Australia (NATA). You will have to reach a private agreement about the cost of testing.

If the mother refuses, you will need to apply for a court order. The Court will only make an order for parentage testing if they are considering another issue, for example, an application for parenting orders or a child support declaration. Generally, parentage has to be disputed.

Before you apply for parenting orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Find accredited facilities on the NATA website.

Can I refuse t​​o do a parentage test?

You don’t have to agree to parentage testing unless there is a court order requiring you to submit to testing.

If the Court has made an order f​​or parentage testing, you must comply unless you have a reasonable excuse not to.

If you don't want to comply with an order for parentage testing, you should get legal advice​.

​What can I do if the other par​ty does not follow​ the parenting orders?

If you believe the other party may have breached a court order you should arrange Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). FDR can help you resolve any disputes and misunderstandings and will save you the time and cost of going to court.

If you want to apply for court orders, including new parenting orders or a contravention order, you must attempt FDR unless:

  • the situation is urgent, or
  • an exemption applies.

If you can't reach an agreement at FDR, you will be given a section 60I certificate that will allow you to apply for court orders.

 Before making an application, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see the fact sheet Children: Compliance and enforcement on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What if a parenting order is in​ place but my child is refusing to spend time with the other party?

Parenting orders must be followed by both parties. If your parenting orders provide for your child to spend time with the other parent, you must make your child available and actively encourage your child to spend time with the other parent, even if they don't want to.

If your child doesn't spend time with the other parent, you could be breaching the orders if you:

  • let your child decide whether they want to spend time with their other parent
  • tell your child they don't have to spend time with the other parent.

You should arrange Family Dispute Resolution to discuss the issues leading to your child refusing to spend time with the other parent.

If you don’t, the other parent may be able to apply to the Court for a remedy. If the other parent applies for an order, simply saying your child refused to go will not be considered a defence. You should find out why your child does not want to spend time with the other party and get legal advice.

Breaching a court order can have serious consequences. If there is a risk you may breach an order, you should get legal advice.​

For more information, see Children: Compliance and enforcement on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What is an Application - Contravention?

An Application - Contravention is an application seeking an order from the Court imposing a punishment or other consequence on a person for not following a court order. The applicant must prove the contravention.

The Court can also vary the existing court orders in contravention proceedings.

Before making an application for contravention, or if someone makes an application against you, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Children: Compliance and enforcement on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Where do I file​​ an Application - Contravention?

To file your form, you must email it to contraventionlist@fcfcoa.gov.au. You should not file your application on the Commonwealth Courts Portal.

You need to file the following documents with your Application - Contravention:

  • an Affidavit
  • a copy of the order, bond, agreement or undertaking you say has been breached
  • a section 60I certificate, unless an exemption applies.

From 4:30pm on 3 May 2024, you must file the new, updated form. If you have saved a copy of the old form, you should delete it and fill out the new form. 

For more information, see How do I apply to the Court when parenting orders have been contravened (breached) or not complied with? on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Can the Court make costs orders in proceedings for contravention?

The Court can make a costs order against:

  • ​ a party that is found to have breached the orders, or
  • ​ the party who applied but is unsuccessful in proceedings for contravention.

If the Court finds that the respondent committed a serious breach of the orders it must order the respondent to pay all of the applicant’s legal costs, unless this would not be in the child’s best interests.

 Before filing an application, or if you have been served with an Application - Contravention, you should get legal advice 

Can parenti​ng orders be changed?

Unless an order says otherwise, all parenting orders can be changed by the agreement of both parents. You can do this by:

  • making a parenting plan, or
  • applying for consent orders.

If you and the other parent can't agree, you can apply to the Court to vary your parenting orders. Before you can apply, you must attempt Family Dispute Resolution unless you fall into one of the exceptions.

There is no automatic right to apply to vary an order. The Court must not reconsider your parenting orders unless:

  • there has been a significant change in circumstances since the current orders were made, and
  • it is satisfied that it is in the best interests of your child to reconsider your parenting orders.

If you want to change your parenting orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Changing parenting arrangements on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

How can we change a c​ourt order by agreement?

Unless an order says otherwise, you and the other parent can agree to change your parenting orders at any time. This can include:

  • a one-off change, for example, changing a pick-up time just for one week, or
  • a long-term change, for example, who your child lives with.

If you are going to change an order by agreement, you should get your agreement in writing. This can include:

  • an informal agreement, for example, by email or text message
  • a parenting plan
  • applying for consent orders.

This will avoid confusion and disputes about the terms of your agreement.

If you and the other parent make a parenting plan to change any parenting orders, the parenting plan will override the orders but only to the extent of any inconsistency. The orders that you change will no longer be enforceable, and a court won’t be able to punish a person for not following the orders. The terms of your parenting plan will also be unenforceable. You can’t use a parenting plan to create new legal obligations.

Before you sign a parenting plan to change your parenting orders, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Changing parenting arrangements on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What can I do i​f my child has not been returned after spending time with the other parent?

If your child has been taken or has not been returned to you after spending time with the other parent, you can apply for a Recovery Order in the Local Court of NSW or Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia. A Recovery Order:

  • requires a child to be returned to a parent or person with parental responsibility for the child
  • can authorise the police to find and recover your child
  • can provide directions about the day-to-day care of a child until they are returned
  • can prohibit a person from removing the child or taking the child into their care again.

Before you apply for a Recovery Order, you should get urgent legal advice.

For more information, see Children: Recovery orders on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Will the police help me​ get to my child back if I have an order that says the child lives with me?

The police can only assist you if you apply for, and are granted, a Recovery Order, as this will authorise the Australian Federal Police to recover your child if necessary.

What is a Recovery O​rder?

A Recovery Order is a court order that:

  • requires a child to be returned to a parent or person with parental responsibility for the child
  • can authorise the police to find and recover your child
  • can provide directions about the day-to-day care of a child until they are returned
  • can prohibit a person from removing the child or taking the child into their care again.

You should get legal advice about applying for or responding to a Recovery Order.

For more information, see Children: Recovery orders on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Can I apply for a Recove​ry Order if there are no parenting orders in place?

You don't need to have parenting orders to apply for a Recovery Order. However, you should also apply for parenting orders when you apply for a Recovery Order.

You should get legal advice about applying for a Recovery Order.

For more information, see Children: Recovery orders on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

I have been served with a Recovery Order. Do I have to hand my child over?

A Recovery Order is court order, meaning you have a legal obligation to follow the order.

If you have concerns about the child being returned to the other parent, you should get urgent legal advice about your situation.     

What if I don't know where the other p​arent has taken our child?

The Court can make a Location Order or Commonwealth Information Order directing a person or government agency such as Centrelink or Medicare to disclose your child's address.

The Court can also compel someone who may know of your child's whereabouts to come to court to give this information.

If you don't know where your child is, you should get urgent legal advice about your situation.

For more information, see Children: Recovery orders on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What is a Commonwealth Information Order?​

A Commonwealth Information Order is a court order requiring government agencies, such as Centrelink or Medicare, to disclose information about the child's location to the Court so your application can be served on the other party. The Court will not disclose this address to you personally.

For more information, see Children: Recovery orders on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What is a Location Or​der?

A Location Order is a court order that requires:

  • a person, such as an aunt, grandparent or friend of the family, to disclose any information they have about the child's location, or
  • a government department or agency to provide information about the child's location that is contained in its records.

The Court will not disclose this address to you personally.

For more information, see Children: Recovery orders on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What do I do if I find out th​​e other parent has taken my child overseas?

If you believe your child has been taken overseas you should get urgent legal advice about your situation.

If your child has been taken to a country that is a signatory to the Hague Convention you can ask the Australian Government to apply to the Court in that country to recover the child.

For more information about recovering children from overseas, see:

What is the Hague C​onvention?

The Hague Convention is an international treaty (agreement) signed by a number of countries to ensure cooperation in returning children if they have been removed from their usual country of residence without both parent's agreement or a court order.

How do I know if the country is a​ signatory to the Hague Convention?

For a list of which countries are signatory to the Hague Convention, see Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction on the Attorney-General's Department website.

What if the country my child ​has been taken to is not part of the Hague Convention?

You may be able to apply to a court in that country seeking an order for your child's return. 

For more information, see International family law and children on the Attorney-General's Department website.

You should get urgent legal advice if you are in this situation.

Can I travel interstate with my child for a holiday?

You can take your child interstate for a holiday unless there is a court order that restricts your child travelling with you.

You should discuss your travel plans with the other parent as soon as possible and before you starting paying for your trip, if possible. You should also provide them with details of where you will be staying and how you can be contacted.

If you have parenting orders that deal with interstate travel, you must comply with the orders.

If you have concerns that the parenting orders may be contravened by the travel, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Children: Relocation, travel and the Hague Convention on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

Can I travel overseas with my​ child?

You can travel overseas with your child if:

  • there are no parenting orders preventing you from travelling overseas with your child, and
  • your child has a valid passport issued in their name.

If you want to take your child on an overseas holiday, you should try and reach an agreement with the other parent as soon as possible and before you start paying for your trip. You should provide them with details of where you will be staying and how you can be contacted throughout the trip. It is a good idea to seek the other parent's written permission, witnessed by a Justice of the Peace or lawyer, to travel overseas with your child.

If you have parenting orders, it's an offence to take your child overseas without the other parent's consent.

Can I take my child overseas i​f the other parent does not agree?

It is an offence to take a child out of ​Australia if there is a parenting order in place, unless the other parent agrees in writing or there is a court order allowing it.

Before applying to the Court for an order to take the child overseas you must comply with the pre-action procedures (PAPs), including attempting Family Dispute Resolution, unless an exception applies to your situation.

If you want to:

  • move with the child overseas and the other parent does not agree, you can apply to the Court for a Relocation Order
  • travel overseas with the child and the other parent does not agree to your travel plans, you can apply for an order for the child to travel overseas (a type of parenting order).

Before you arrange travel overseas, you should get urgent legal advice about your situation.​ You should do this before you start paying for your travel.

The other parent has a foreign passport for my child that I did not agree to. How is that possible?

Your child may be eligible for a passport from another country if they have dual citizenship or nationality. The consent of only one parent is required in some countries. If a foreign passport was issued without your permission, you should contact the relevant embassy. 

If you are concerned that your child is going to be taken overseas without your consent, you can apply to the Court to have your child's name placed on the Family Law Watch List. Before you apply for a Family Watch List order, you should get urgent legal advice.​

What can I do if the other parent refuses to sign my child's passport application? 

If the other parent refuses to sign your child’s passport application, you may make a written request to the approved Senior Officer of the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade to consider issuing a passport due to special circumstances. You will need to explain why you can’t obtain permission from the other parent. 

For more information, see Incomplete consent on the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade website. 

If your request is not successful, you can apply to the Court for an order for a passport for your child together with an order to travel with your child. Before you apply for court orders, you must comply with the pre-action procedures, unless an exception applies in your situation.

For more information, see the fact sheet Children and international travel after family separation on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

You should not book a holiday overseas unless your child has a valid passport and there are no orders preventing you from travelling overseas with your child.

How do I apply for an order for my​​ child to travel overseas?

Before applying to the Court for an order you must comply with the pre-action procedures, incl​uding attempting Family Dispute Resolution, unless an exception applies in your situation.

To apply for a Parenting Order to travel overseas, you will need to file:

  • an Initiating Application
  • an Affidavit
  • a Genuine steps certificate
  • a section 60I certificate or an Affidavit of non-filing of Family Dispute Resolution certificate
  • a Notice of child abuse, family violence and risk.

An Initiating Application is the form you fill in to start your application. It sets out the orders that you want the Court to make.

An Affidavit is a sworn document you prepare that sets out why you are asking the Court to make the orders you have applied for. You should attach a copy of the travel itinerary and other relevant information to your affidavit.

A Notice of child abuse, family violence and risk is a mandatory form which must be used by a person who files an Initiating Application or Response seeking parenting orders. 

From 4:30pm on 3 May 2024, you must use the new, updated court forms. If you have saved a copy of the old forms, you should delete them and download the new forms.

For more information, see the fact sheet Applying to the Court for orders - family law on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

In some circumstances, the Court may ask you to pay money as security to ensure that you bring your child back home to Australia.

For more information, see the fact sheet Children and international travel after family separation on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

​Before applying for parenting orders, you should get legal advice.

What can I do if I think the other parent is going to take my child overseas?

If you are concerned about your child being taken out of Australia without your agr​eement, you can apply to the Court to have your child's name placed on the Family Law Watch List. These types of orders can be made very quickly if there is an immediate risk that a child will be removed from Australia.

You must email or fax a copy of the sealed order together with a completed Family Law Watch List Request ​form to the Australian Federal Police to ensure that the child's name is placed on the Family Law Watch List. 

The Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia has a service for emergencies outside of business hours. You can call your nearest registry and get details about this emergency service. For further information about Recovery Orders and child abduction, see Family law kit on the Australian Federal Police website.

You should get urgent legal advice about your situation.​

What do I do if the other parent has taken ​​my child overseas without my agreement?

Some countries, including Australia, have signed the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (Hague Convention) which is an international treaty dealing with the removal of children from one country to another. Your options depend on whether the country is a signatory to the convention.

If your child has been taken to a country that is a signatory to the Hague Convention, you can ask the Australian Government to apply to a court in that country to recover your child.

If your child has been taken to a country that is not a signatory to the Hague Convention, you may be able to apply for orders in that country for your child to be returned to Australia.

For more information about recovering children from overseas, see International family law and children on the Attorney-General's Department website.

If you believe your child has been taken overseas, you should get urgent legal advice about your situation.

Can I move with my child if t​here are parenting orders in place?

You are free to move as long as the parenting orders do not restrict you and the move does not impact on the amount of time your child spends with the other parent. You should consider the implications of moving, for example, if the move will mean a change of school for your child.

It's best to get legal advice before moving. If you decide to move without the other parent's agreement you may be in contravention of a parenting order and at risk of them applying for a Recovery O​rder.

Can I move if there are n​o parenting orders in place?

Parents are expected to consult with one another and negotiate an agreement about the major issues regarding the care of their child, even if there are no parenting orders. This includes the issue of where your child lives.

If you move a distance that will impact on the amount of time your child sees the other parent, you should try to reach an agreement with the other parent before moving. If you can't reach an agreement, you should try Family Dispute Resolution (FDR).

If FDR is unsuccessful, you will be given a section 60I certificate which will allow you to apply to the Court for a Relocation Order.

If you move without an agreement, the other parent may apply for orders:

  • requiring you to immediately return your child to the area you were living in, or
  • for your child to go live with the other parent.

For more information, see Children: Relocation, travel and the Hague Convention on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

If you want to move and the other parent does not agree, you should get legal advice before arranging your move.

Can I stop the other parent moving w​ith our child?

If you can’t reach an agreement with the other parent, you can apply to the Court for an order that will stop the other parent from moving with your child. When deciding whether to make the order, the Court will look at what is in the best interests of your child.

For more information, see Children: Relocation, travel and the Hague Convention on the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia website.

What can I do if the other parent has already ​​moved?

You can apply to the Court for:

  • a relocation order - an urgent order requiring the other parent to return the child to the area, or
  • a Recovery​ Order - an order requiring your child to be returned to you.

The Court will only make the order if you can show you will see the child less often or there are other good reasons to order the return.

How does the ​Court decide w​hether I can move?

In deciding whether you can move, the Court will look at what is in the best interests of your child. This includes considering:

  • each parent’s proposal for the future arrangements of your child
  • how your child will maintain a relationship with the other parent.

Can I still see my child if there is an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order against me?

Whether you can still see your child will depend on:

  • who the protected persons are
  • what orders are included in the Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO), and
  • whether you have parenting orders.

If you have parenting orders, the parenting orders will override the ADVO where the two orders are inconsistent. You will still have to comply with the ADVO when you are not following the parenting orders.

If you don’t have parenting orders and your child is not a protected person, you can still spend time with them. You must comply with the ADVO, including any orders preventing you from having contact with the other parent or attending the family home.

If you don’t already have a parenting agreement, you can make one at any time. How you can negotiate a parenting agreement will depend on the orders in the ADVO.

If your child is a protected person, you can still see your child if:

  • the ADVO only includes the standard orders, or
  • there are no orders about contact.

If the ADVO prevents you from seeing your child, you will need to apply for a variation of the ADVO or parenting orders.

For more information, see Apprehended Violence Orders and Family Law on the My problem is about section of our website.

If you need help to understand your ADVO or make a parenting agreement, you should get legal advice.

Will an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order be t​aken into account when making parenting orders?

Any allegations of family violence will be relevant in parenting matters. The Court must decide the arrangements that are in the best interests of the child. When doing this, it must consider:

  • what arrangements would promote the safety of the child and any person who cares for the child, including safety from being subjected to, or exposed to, family violence
  • any history of family violence, abuse or neglect involving the child or a person caring for the child
  • any family violence order, current or expired, for the protection of a child or a member of the child’s family.

The Court will not expose a child or another person to family violence.

You should get legal advice about your circumstances.

Can my parenting orders b​e changed when I apply for an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order?

You can ask the Court to change or suspend your parenting orders if an Interlocutory or Final ADVO is made.

If the Local Court of NSW does not vary your parenting orders, you may apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.

You should get legal advice about parenting orders if you intend to apply for an ADVO.

​How can I apply for child s​upport?

You can apply for child support to Services Australia if you have separated from your child's parent.

If you are a non-parent carer (for example, a legal guardian, grandparent or other family member), you can also apply for child support if:

  • you have care of the child between five and nine nights per fortnight, and
  • you are not in a domestic relationship with the child's parent.

You can do this:

  • online
  • by phone, through the Child Support general enquiries line.

If you have recently separated from the other parent and are going to apply for a child support assessment, you should do this within 13 weeks of your separation. If you apply after 13 weeks, this may affect what Centrelink benefits you are entitled to.

For more information about applying for child support, see Parent's guide to child support on the Services Australia website.

How much child support do I need to pay?

How much child support you need to pay depends on whether you have a:

  • private agreement
  • child support assessment, or
  • court order.

If you have a private agreement, you and the other parent can decide on how much child support you should pay.

If you have a child support assessment, your child support payments are calculated based on the combined incomes of both parents and the care arrangements for your child.

You should notify Services Australia if your circumstances change.

For more information, see Child support assessment on the Services Australia website.

Do I have to pay child support for a child I do not see?

You are legally responsible to pay child support for your child, regardless of whether you spend time with your child.

For more information about your responsibility to pay child support, see Separated parents on the Services Australia website.

 If you have concerns about not being able to spend time with your child, you can try to reach a parenting arrangement with the other parent. If you can't reach an agreement, you should get help by attempting Family Dispute Resolution. 

Can I appeal a child​​ support decision made by Services Australia?

If you are not happy with a child support decision made by Services Australia, you can ask for a review of the decision within 28 days. You must do this in writing.

For more information, see Objections to child support decisions on the Services Australia website.

If you are unhappy with the outcome of the review, you can appeal to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal (AAT) within 28 days. There are no fees to appeal to the AAT.

For more information, see the factsheet Going to the Administrative Appeals Tribunal on the Ways to get help section of our website.

How can I update my child support assessment to show a change in circumstances?

You can notify Services Australia about a change in care arrangements for your child online, either:

  • through your Child support online account on MyGov, or
  • the Express Plus Child Support app.

You must notify Services Australia within 28 days. If you don’t, Services Australia may:

  • backdate a decrease in your care in the assessment
  • suspend or terminate your child support assessment.

For more information, see Change of circumstances that affect your child support on the Services Australia website.

Where can I get legal advice and information about child support?

For information about child support and how it is calculated:

For legal advice about child support issues, you can contact the Legal Aid NSW Child Support Service. This is different to the Services Australia Child Support general enquiries line. 

​Can I change ​my child's name?

You can change your child's name by:

  • using the new name - as long as there is no court order preventing this. The birth certificate is not amended in this situation and the child's change of name is informal. Before doing this, you should consider the issues in the next question.
  • registering their new name with the Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriages (BDM). You can do this online and the certificate will be posted to you. In most cases, both parents need to agree on the change of name. For more information or to change your child's name, see Register a change of name (child) on the Service NSW website.
  • applying to the Court for an order, if the other parent does not agree to the change of name. You will need to try to reach agreement at Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) before you can apply to the Court.

Before applying for an order, you should get legal advice.

For more information, see Factsheet 5 Changing your child’s name by court order.

What should I consider​ if I am changing my child's name informally?

Although you can change a child's name informally by using the new name, you should consider:

  • whether schools, doctors and other institutions will recognise the new name without a formal change of name certificate
  • if using the new name will cause confusion for the child, and
  • whether the other parent disagrees with the child's new name, and what disputes this may cause.

How do I apply for a court order​ to change my child's name?

The process to change your child's name is the same as for any parenting ​order application. First, you will need to attempt to negotiate an agreement with the other parent at Family Dispute Resolution (FDR). If you can't reach an agreement at FDR, or if you can't find the other parent, you can apply to the Court for orders to locate the other parent and changing your child’s name.

It is also possible to apply to the District Court of NSW for a change of a child's name.

Before you apply to a court, you should get legal advice about your options.

For more information, see Factsheet 5 Changing your child’s name by court order.

What will the Court consid​er ​when deciding a change of name application?

The Court will consider what is in the child's best i​nterests, including:

  • the short and long-term effects of any change in the child's surname
  • any embarrassment likely to be suffered by the child if his or her name is different from that of the parent they live with
  • any confusion about identity which may arise for the child if his or her name is changed or not changed
  • the effect any change of surname may have on the relationship between the child and the parent whose name the child bore
  • the effect of frequent or random changes of the name
  • the child's wishes and the degree of maturity of the child
  • any other factors deemed appropriate in the case.

For more information, see Factsheet 5 Changing your child’s name by court order.

Does the child's parent nee​d to consent to an adoption?

If an adoption application is made, the parents of the child will be asked whether they agree to the adoption.

If either parent does not agree, an application can be made to the Court to dispense with their agreement, which means their agreement is not required. The parents must be given at least 14 days' notice of the application.

For more information, see Adoption on the Department of Communities and Justice website.

If you have been served with an application to dispense with consent, you should get legal advice.

Can I adopt someone who is over the age of 18?

You may be able to adopt a person over the age of 18, if you cared for them before they turned 18 years old. If a person is 18 years or older, they must consent to being adopted.

The Department of Communities and Justice does not have direct involvement with adult adoption applications. A person who is 18 years or older may prepare their own adoption application or get a lawyer to help them.

Can I give up my rights and responsibilities as a​ parent?

Only a court order can change parental responsibility of a parent for a child. This includes:

  • parenting orders
  • care orders, or
  • adoption.

To find out if any of these options are suitable in your circumstances, you should get legal advice.

Is surrogac​y legal?

Surrogacy is where a woman (the surrogate or birth mother) agrees to try to have a baby for another person or a couple (the intended parents).

Commercial surrogacy is against the law. It is illegal to:

  • pay a woman to be a surrogate
  • advertise for a surrogate
  • offer surrogacy services
  • facilitate a surrogacy agreement.

Surrogacy, which is privately arranged with no fees or advertising, is not against the law.

Is advertising for a surroga​te illegal?

It is illegal:

  • to advertise that you are looking for a surrogate
  • for companies to advertise that they can arrange a commercial surrogacy agreement.

Penalties for companies and individuals apply which could include a fine and/or imprisonment.

Is advertising to be a surrogate ​​illegal?

You can't advertise that you are willing to be a surrogate or that you are willing to accept any benefit for being a surrogate under an agreement. Penalties apply which could include a fine and/or imprisonment.

What are the reasonabl​e costs that can be paid to the surrogate?

A surrogate can legally be paid for costs relating to:

  • the costs of the surrogate becoming pregnant or trying to become pregnant
  • the pregnancy
  • giving birth, and
  • costs for the child.

These costs can include medical treatment, travel, accommodation and loss of income for a period of time around the birth.

Before signing a surrogacy agreement, you should get legal advice.

How do I get parental responsib​ility after I have been given the child from the surrogate?

There are three ways to become a legal parent to a child born from surrogacy:

  • applying to the Supreme Court of NSW for a parentage order under the Surrogacy Act 2010 (NSW) - this order transfers the parentage of the surrogate to the person who has the child.
  • going through the adoption process - this involves applying to the Supreme Court and, in some cases, the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
  • applying for parenting orders. Parenting Orders can give you parental responsibility, which would make you legally responsible for the child.

You should get legal advice about what option is best in your situation.

Is it illegal to enter into a co​​mmercial surrogacy arrangement overseas?

It is illegal for a person who is a resident or normally lives in NSW to advertise for or enter into a commercial (for money) surrogacy arrangement overseas.

Before you decide to enter into an overseas surrogacy arrangement, you need legal advice.

For more information, see Going overseas for international surrogacy on the Smartraveller website.

​Who are considere​d the parents of a child in a same sex relationship?

The child’s biological mother is a parent. The same sex partner of a child's biological mother is also a parent as long as:

  • there was artificial conception
  • the partner agreed to the artificial conception and was married or in a de facto relationship with the biological mother at the time of conception.

Does a donor have parental resp​onsibility?

A person who donates s​perm for the purpose of artificial conception will not have parental responsibility if a child is born as a result. This is the case whether the artificial conception is done through a clinic or through a private arrangement.

There are some situations where a sperm donor may be considered a parent. If this situation applies to you, you should get legal advice.

I am the donor for a same sex ​​couple who had a child. Can I get an order to see the child?

There are some situations where a sperm donor may be considered a parent and may be able to apply for an order to spend time with the child. The Court will decide whether to make this order based on what is in the best interests of the child.

If this situation applies to you, you should get legal advice.

Last updated: May 2024